Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
