Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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