are you still at the devil's house?
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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