after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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