you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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