Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I am naked and annoyed.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
