thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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