I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
