Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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