You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
