my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
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He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
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I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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