Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
