I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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