I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
