i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
