i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
