just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
you had me at cake vodka
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize