Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
