im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
