I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
