I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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