My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize