I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
