Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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