do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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