just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
