Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
