I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
