careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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