i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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