i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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