can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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