I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
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It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
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If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
What happened to fro yo and sex?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize