That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
