Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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