Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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