do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
