chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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