so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My life is pants optional.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
