I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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