i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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