Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
