sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
We had sex on a dog bed..
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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