Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
