hotel room ftw
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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