You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Randomize
