you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
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So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
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Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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