Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize