Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
