This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
This toilet bowl is my home.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
