And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
farters have to be the big spoon...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
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My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
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Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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