It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize