Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
