Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
