Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
