today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
