How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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